Domestic Violence

My Story....Living in a troubled "gay" relationship for nearly a year and a half....inspired me to share ~My Story~ with you......

I have officially been named an advocate, for the Artemis House here in Dayton - Ohio. This agency supports an ~alternative~ to domestic violence.

They have a fairly new sector of their agency....for the Gay - Lesbian and TransGendered Community. And for a while...they have been trying to get the project off of the ground. Being Gay is not a kewl thing in Dayton - Ohio.....and the lack of peeple willing to "OUT" themselves withing their communnities and support the group kept their efforts from ever getting off of the ground.

Then along came Lisa....full of admiration for success.....and PRIDE in who I was.....and they have been working with me for 3 months now.....getting me focused....and watching me recover. I would walk into their office....and they would say "There's the woman with the answers...." of "There's the woman that can make a difference in the world....." Having strong beliefs in tranquility and a conviction in my heart....for peace in the world.....made me a perfect candidate for the job.

While Artemis House provides protection for the victims that they come in contact with on a daily bases....their philosophy strongly suggests an ~Alternative~ to domestic violence within the gay community. They strongly oppose the use of the legal system unless absolutely necessary.

About a year ago......I did some research on my own......and had spent a couple of months displaying my findings on my old GeoCities Site. It was the "rage" at the time.....lots of visitors to my site....found useful information there. And it was an "OUT" for me to express the pain that I too was suffering.

I think that alot of this was due to the fact that there was such a dramatic increase in the level of violence amongst gay couples.

Did you know that only 1 in every 25 gay relationships last for more than 2 years?

Did you also know that within that statistic........78% of that relationship instills and exhibits a dominant...controlling factor which leads to serious abuse?

And of that 78%......1/3 of the relationships end in death of the victim?

I dunno what you think....but I think that.....that ratio is way too high.

Anything over 0% is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to high.

~NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO HIT YOU FOR ANY REASON~

~EVER!~

The goals of Artemis House ARE NOT to legally advise the victim of their rights.....nor to put the 'screws" to the victimizer. And those were NOT my goals either, in the abusive relationship that I have emerged from. But they strive for understanding in this cold....hard...world....between both parties....and provide tools for dealing with anger, stress, depression and so on and so on. An effort to nurture healthy relationships....to help the bad things heal....and to help couples stay together......forever....in relationships that will last.

It moves me to share my experience with you.

Perhaps something I may say or define will keep you from harm.....or ultimately....educate you about your relationship.

And the importance to strongly support those you love.....while maintaining a certain level of common sense and understanding.

God knows....that I loved my partner....but you must also brace yourself for the fact that they may not be willing to begin loving themselves.

You can try and try and try to show them that you understand, accept, and are willing to go thru the recovery process with them....because this is really about "THEM"..... but if they never reach that level of truth within themselves....about themselves....then you may have to live with something that you "just couldn't fix".

I do believe....that my ability to avoid confrontation....and my ability to ~BURY PAIN~ have been related to my recurrences of abusive relationships..

The loss of someone that I loved very deeply made me realize that.....this is my "Hour of Redemption".....and it may just be worth my while to confront those who abuse us....those who destroy our lives. It may be worth my while to share my experience with others....to make the awareness real...to possibly help them save their relationships...if not...just to save themselves.