For many years, I knew who I was deep down inside but chose to supress my desires. I knew that I found no satisfaction in a man sexually, or for any other reason for that matter. I used to talk myself into believing that maybe there was no desire because of something that "I" was doing wrong. And for many years I believed that. There was always a conscious fearing that my family and friends would abandon me.

Later I discovered that supressing these feelings for sooooooooo long...made my first experience with a woman a total fulfillment of uephoria.

There was a woman in my life, a friend, avery close friend (and I choose to "omit" her name), a friend that I shared all of my feelings and emotions with, except for this one.

We were always together, we also worked together. It was quite a normal to everyone who knew us that if they saw one of us....the other was not too far behind.

Like me, my friend shared her stories of past relationships that just did not work out. We watched each other continue to stumble through miserable relationships......that all ended the same way. Nowhere. Over time we both had adopted the attitude that we were never gonna date another "man" again.

We began to frequently visit gay and lesbian clubs.....in total agreement that we enjoyed the attitude, the atmosphere, and the friends that we never had trouble making. But never entertaining the idea that we may belong there....for more reasons than we had ever imagined.

We would innocently dance together...hugging each other quite frequently.....seemingly brush against each other for no apparent reason. We would find ourselves from time to time standing with our arms around each other....and not even realize that we were doing it. We were forever straightening each others clothes....wiping hair out of each others faces....touching each others lips to fix smeared lipstick....brushing each others hair...swapping clothes, etc..etc.... But never thinking twice about the care that we showed for each other or what could be driving it.

Almost as if it were just second nature.

We would introduce ourselves to our acquaintances as "Friends"..."Good Friends". And we would always giggle when people would ask us if we were a couple.

The biggest secret of our friendship was that we both "felt" attracted to each other...but for some reason or another...it was NEVER a "Girl Talk" topic.

It was one of those weekend nights, that I just didn't feel like going out.

My friend had already told me before she had left work that day, that she had a date. I remember feeling jealous, sort of angry. But I blew it off to the fact that she had been on many dates with this person before, and that he was a looser....and I told her that she shouldn't waste her time! But she seemed pretty determined that she was going to go....so I never mentioned it again.

It wasn't quite dark yet.....and I remember drifting off to sleep.

A nap that didn't last too long.

Out of boredome....I got myself up and decided to get cleaned up a little, possibly in the event that I would change my mind and get motivated to go out for a cocktail or two.

Just as I walked to the front door...the phone rings. My griend was frantically explaining that she had been stood up by this "jerk" for the last time! I waited for her to finish.....and then calmly asked her where she wanted me to meet her at.

Little did either of us know...that this would be the night that opened a whole new world for us.

That warm summer night, we stopped for dinner at a restaurnt that we ate lunch at quite frequently.

She never said another word about that moron that had stood her up earlier that evening. I could tell that she was thinking about if from time to time all throughout dinner. She had her reasons for loving this man I guess.....and I could tell that he had hurt her.

She looked beautiful as ever.

I sat accross the table from her....gazing into her eyes, and I felt an emotion that made my body ache.....wanting so badly to hold her in my arms and press my body against her. In my mind, I began to make love to her. It was a fantasy that I had never experienced. It was almost as if I imagined her having the same thoughts about me....I could feel it.

We finished our dinner and headed out to our favorite club.

We were sitting with a group of friends...at a round booth...next to each other of course...very closely. I could feel the heat of her bare leg against mine. We were watching a very boring stage performance....and three cocktails later we decided it was time to go to the Girls Room to freshen up so that we could head over to the other side of the bar for some dancing and a change of scenery.

In the Ladies Room..for no apparent reason...my friend blurts out "Gawd, I really wish that I was a lesbian, they seem to have much more meaningful, contented lifestyles. And if I were to be totally honest...I wish that my lover were YOU". I remember the silence.......and I was not quite sure how to respond. I just remember thinking that I wanted to get her outta the Ladies Room so that she wasn't attacked by the Diesel Dykes that were sitting on the couch in the powder room.

Our original plan was to go to the dance side of the bar....but we found ourselves wandering back to the table where we had orginally met up with our friends.

She became more serious with me it seemed....submissively inquiring whether or not I would be interested in a room mate.....and giggling. (and at the time, I was considering a room mate) We danced and had our usual "Fun Time Out".........

On the way home, she asked me if she could just crash at my house since her and her sister were not getting along very well at the time, (she and her sister were room mates) and she was in no mood to lay all night and listen to her sister boink her pathetic boyfriend. I agreed......that would prolly be a better idea, so we found ourselves, crashed on the couch, at my house.

Her hair was long. blonde and beautiful......and I loved to play with it. So I wandered off to the bathroom to find a hair brush, but didn't tell her where I was going. In the mean time......she had taken off her panties...and extra accessories...I knew this because I noticed them laying with her shoes and her purse.....over in the corner.

I sat on the couch....and had her sit in front of me on the floor, between my legs. Brushing her hair seemed so different this time....felt different this time...it was as if she had woven a spell around me, I felt so lifted.....so wett. I pulled her hair up off of her neck, like I usually did when I was going to put a pony tail in it......but instead.....I began to sofly kiss her neck. I could hear her breathing...softly.....and slowly exhaling with pleasure. Realizing what I had just done, I abruptly went back to brushing her hair........wondering if I had overstepped my bounds. But at the same time I could feel my own wetness....my clit was almost throbbing.

I laid the hairbrush on the couch, and gently pulled her back to me, caressing her breasts......she leaned her head back....and rested it into my lap....looking up at me....her lip quivered....and we passionately began to lick each others lips.

We softly kissed, undressing each other slowly...lovingly. Feeling her soft skin pressed against me for the first time felt so wonderful......we found ourselves wrapped around each other. I felt as if I just wanted to absorb her into my soul.

We paused....and looked deeply into each others eyes...searching our minds...without saying a word....for the meaning of what was happening between us. Softly...she began to speak, admitting that she had many fantasies of us doing this very thing......

I sat silent for a moment.

And brushed her hair from her face.....and raised her chin...to look deeply into her eyes....to tell her that this moment seemed so right.

I had often wondered what the first time would be like, to fulfill the desire that I had craved......wondering how it should happen....and who it would be with. And at that very moment.....that night....I found the answer.

The confession of desire from each of us, set us both free.

Our bodies were in perfect sync...moving together as one. Feeling her breasts against mine, as her body quivered...my body quivered....and we began to explore....to touch. Kissing her body....her soft firm stomach....her extrememly gorgeous thighs......and finally tasting her.

In return...the euphoria of my first exploding orgasm...as she gently moved her fingers in and out of me slowly while she licked my clit....I remember the wetness........

It was truly the experience that aroused our awareness....of self fulfillment.

We were never quite the same after that. We knew that we were two loving friends...that had allot of memories.....and that this night was one of the best.

We never became lovers. Like most people had expected. But rather.....the experience became a memory that changed our lives forever.

Lesbians let their fingers walk in more than just the Yellow Pages.....